Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
