I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm determined to sit on that face.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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