It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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