I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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