How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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