If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize