Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
