My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
