Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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