someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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