How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
