well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
