It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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