Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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