matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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