my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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