I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
