Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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