Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
