We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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