Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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