i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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