If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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