I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
