just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
