you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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