I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
