Already got asked if we're dating
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
