dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Farmville is her only friend.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
