just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
