I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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