I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
