so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
