I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
