So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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