in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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