how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
