So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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