We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
