before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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