Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I will die if light touches me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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