I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
