if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
