only you would photoshop your dick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
