We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it because I queefed?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
