god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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