how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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