So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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