....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
