I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
