can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
