Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
