My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
