I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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