Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
