areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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