too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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